


festivities and emma are immiscible

by Quantum_Spin



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-05-26
Updated: 2014-09-16
Packaged: 2018-01-26 13:15:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,845
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1689641
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Quantum_Spin/pseuds/Quantum_Spin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Emma + holidays in Storybrooke = a trail of destruction</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Christmas '13

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: Once Upon a Time does not belong to me.

Festivities were really not Emma’s thing. The flashing lights, the laughter, the bonding with people you will not see until the next Christmas party, and especially the sappy displays of people kissing under mistletoe did not mesh well with her personality. She preferred a mug of eggnog on a couch somewhere in front of a fireplace with her son, Henry, and their dog at their feet as a comfortable quiet surrounded them.

Unfortunately, Henry did manage to rope her into visiting her parents this Christmas – which is how she found herself cursing as she navigated across a lawn of people she had not seen in approximately half a decade. It was freezing out but with the children’s demand to make snow angels and have snowball fights, there was an understandable amount of parents crowding the back yard.

“Emma!”

The blonde turned around only to find her waist hugged by a young boy with a mop of curly brown hair.

“Roland?” she asked in disbelief. The last time she had seen the boy, his head barely made it past her hips.

The boy pulled back and smiled a smile that lit up his face.

“I missed you, Emma,” he said, dimples appearing even when he spoke.

Emma kneeled down, ignoring the dampness soaking through her knees, and wrapped her arms tightly around him. When she had first met the boy six years ago, he had immediately been taken with her – more so than he had been with Regina. He would always rush to her and start chatting animatedly about his day whenever they would be at Granny’s at the same time for dinner. She would never forget the moment he pulled out a stool for her at the bar as she moved to sit. It was the cutest thing she had ever seen.

“I missed you too, buddy.”

They stayed that way for another beat or ten before Emma let him go with a watery grin on her face.

“You’ve grown so much,” she says, ruffling his thick head of hair.

Roland’s response is another dimpled grin that just broke her heart for not having said goodbye to him when she left for New York with Henry. He tugged at her hand and dragged her inside where it was considerably warmer.

Snow and David had purchased a detached house five minutes away from the Mayor’s mansion a few months after her departure. It was modest with three bedrooms, two and a half bathrooms, a living room, and a backyard in which a thirteen year old would not mind playing soccer. Looking around, she saw wall upon wall of photos of her family. She and Roland entered the living room where it was significantly quieter and he droped her hand in favor of running off somewhere.

Emma shook her head in amusement, approaching the fireplace where a row of pictures sat on the mantle – one of Leo, her baby brother, aged two hours, and one of her parents and Henry at a picnic. She remembered that day as if it was only yesterday. Snow had been heavily pregnant with Leo and was lying down on the blue checkered blanket with her head on David’s lap while Henry had his hand on her round stomach, intently concentrating on the baby’s kicks. She and Regina were off to the side, sitting with barely a centimeter between them, watching the trio. It was serene; something neither Regina nor Emma ever imagined having together. Regina had secretly taken a photo of them, a small smile of content painting her lips. It was possibly one of the most memorable moments in Emma’s entire existence on earth.

What really drew her attention and caused her to stumble was the picture in between the other two. Emma had offered to teach Regina how to play baseball as an attempt to help her bond more with Henry, who was going to play in the little league they had at school that season. After many tries, Regina had finally managed to hit the ball. In that moment of elation and pride, she had tossed the bat to the side and ran at Emma, who had been pitching to her. Emma had been so surprised to find her arms wrapped around the voluptuous figure of Regina Mills, her legs freely wrapped around the blonde’s waist and arms tightly wrapped her neck.

Emma grinned softly as she remembered looking around to spot Snow with camera in hand and a knowing smirk on her face. The flustered stuttering of one Regina Mills made the scene all the more unforgettable. It was not every day that you witnessed the rigid, composed Mayor of Storybrooke comfortable in baseball gear and flushed with sheen of sweat, sputtering at the impulsive and definitely intimate action of throwing herself at Emma.

“Miss Swan,” sounded a husky voice beside her, breaking her from her reverie.

“Madam Mayor,” Emma returned with a slight nod.

Facing each other, they regarded the other with a hint of blush on both their cheeks. Time had definitely been kind to the both of them.

“Finally decided to visit, I see.”

Emma shrugged in response and glanced at the picture of them once again.

“Henry was adamant. You would think that his monthly visits here would have been enough.”

“Most of his family is here, Emma,” Regina said quietly. Emma took a deep calming breath.

“Don’t.”

Something flashed in the chocolate orbs and she knew that they were about to have one of many overdue conversations in that instant.

“Don’t what, exactly? Don’t remind you that you left everything and everyone that mattered behind without a single glance back? I watched you leave, Emma. I watched you take my – no, our – son away without even an explanation as to why you were leaving. Henry visits here every month because this was – is his home. His family is here. Your family is here. Why did you have to leave?”

The last part was delivered in a broken whisper that crashed over Emma like a tidal wave, keeping her under in a state of desperation as she fought to control her breathing that had suddenly become erratic.

Squaring her jaw, she took a step closer to Regina effectively bringing them nose to nose.

“You found Robin,” she all but snarled.

The confusion that set in the brunette’s eyes only added fuel to the fire.

“You left me before I ever left you, Regina. For months, I believed that I was finally breaking through those walls you put up. I believed that you were opening yourself up to me not just because of Henry but because you wanted to. I was actually foolish enough to believe that you were falling for me just as hard as I had fallen for you. It turns out that I was simply a warm-up to the actual game.”

By this time, the other occupants of the living room had forgotten their conversations and regarded the former Evil Queen and Savior with trepidation.

“Emma,” Regina breathed, bringing her left hand up to cup a pale cheek only to find it rejected as Emma pointedly stared at the ring on her finger.

“You left me first, Regina. I had to find myself. I had to find a way to not destroy myself every single time I saw you play house with that ingrate and Roland. Roland deserved a home and unconditional love from a mother and he found it with you. I did not have it in me to ruin it, not even if I had the chance to.”

Regina trembled as Emma removed the picture from its frame and regarded it with a broken smile that told of scars born from unspoken pain and longing.

“It was all a lie,” Emma murmured.

With that, she threw the photo into the fire, eliciting a horrified gasp from their audience and a choked sob from Regina, tears running free and a hand tightly covering her mouth as her other arm circled her waist, and left yet again without a single backward glance.

Festivities were just really not Emma’s thing.


	2. Thanksgiving '14

This was going to be a disaster; Emma just knew it.

  
She palms her face, closing her eyes from weariness. She was currently standing in the midst of Mary Margaret’s kitchen, a turkey baster – _how ironic_ – in her other hand. In the distance, she could see Robin encircle his arms around Regina with a soft smile on both their faces. Roland chatters animatedly with Henry, wonder in his eyes as the older boy showed him pictures of dinosaurs. It ached her to see – to know that Robin was now a part of her family.

  
“Emma?”

  
The blonde turns to look at her mother, who throws a questioning glance at the object in her hand and then back at her. Clearing her throat, she moves towards the headless turkey she initially nicknamed _Lion_ before realizing that Snow had already placed it in the oven. She stumbles over her own two feet as she maneuvers in the direction of the sink instead, barely catching herself. Taking a deep breath, she opens the tap for hot water and proceeds to suction the cascading downpour into the baster.  
“Are you alright, dear?” comes a voice from behind her. Emma cringes, hoping that it goes unnoticed.

  
“Of course,” she hastily replies, her back still turned but her hands have stilled.

  
Gentle yet determined hands settle on her shoulders, thumbs kneading and unknotting. Calm washes over Emma, causing her to involuntarily flutter her eyes shut.

  
“You are rather tense, _Miss Swan_ ,” a breathy whisper resounds by her ear. The Savior visibly shivers from the feel of soft, plump lips against the shell of her ear.

  
It had nothing to do with just how much Miss Swan was associated with. It did not remind her of the months she spent bantering with Regina when they first met, going at the other’s throat. It did not make her think of the years they spent building a tentative relationship wherein the brunette would slip into the old habit of formally addressing her co-parent or the time when, with a serious lack of judgment, Emma found herself on the receiving end of a rather seductive Evil Queen after unwittingly insinuating that the shorter woman did not have it in her to do such a thing.

  
_The two polar opposites regarded one another, one with incredulity and the other with exasperation. They sat across from one another on the couch in Regina’s living room, the several candles around being the only source of illumination as how Maine decided to have a power outage._

  
_“So, let me get this straight. You played seductress as a means to an end?”_

  
_“I was the Evil Queen, Emma. Honestly, I cannot grasp why you cannot understand it,” the Mayor huffs._

  
_They had been at this for hours now – revealing things they would not dare reveal to another. Of all things for Emma to be stuck on, she did not expect it to be this._

  
_“Well, yeah, but. Does this mean that you slept around?” was the cheeky reply._

  
_The twinkle in Emma’s bright green eyes made Regina want to growl. Instead, a perfectly sculpted eyebrow arches into her hairline, signaling that Emma was entering dangerous territory – the idiot._

  
_“Shall we find out, Miss Swan?” she inquires, leaning forward to invade the other woman’s space with visceral intent._

  
_The sultry tinge to her already husky voice clearly startles Emma because her eyes widen comically and her jaw drops, fingers suddenly twitching and ticking on her lap._

  
_“Wha –_

  
_Whatever she was going to say was cut off by a strangled gasp as Regina pops open a button on her cream silk blouse with her index finger before trailing that very finger down Emma’s jawline and across her parted moist lips. Taking advantage of this, she lightly dips it into the blonde’s mouth and swabs a bit of spittle caught on the inside of the blonde’s bottom lip. Locking eyes with her counterpart, she brings the slender digit to her mouth and lightly sucks on it. At this point, Emma’s Adam’s apple was trying to escape but remained forced to stay in place._

  
_With a devilish grin, Regina closes the seven inches between their faces and brushes her lips against the corner of Emma’s mouth. She presses them there for a good three seconds before beginning a trail across, along her jawline, and up toward the lobe of her left ear._

  
_“If I were to eat you out right now, would you taste as good?” Regina purrs, lightly sucking on the skin where Emma’s ear meets her jaw._

  
_“Regina,” Emma hoarsely says, her hands balling into fists._

  
_Grinning deviously now, Regina moves even closer._

  
_“Would you taste even better?”_

  
_She nips the pale skin below the blonde’s ear, reveling in the fact that Emma now bears marks of hers. They are making an acute angle with the couch, Regina practically on top of a flushed Emma. The older woman places her hands on either side of Emma, who have yet to do anything with her hands to support herself._

  
_A visual of Emma’s abs flashes before Regina’s eyes and she knows she needs to end it before it goes too far._

  
_“Oh, what I would give to have a lick of the tastiest forbidden fruit,” and with that a tongue darts out, tracing the shell of Emma’s ear down to her lobe, which is caught in between teeth and squeezed – hard._

  
_The reaction is immediate. Emma yelps, jumping off the couch, and shouts a number of expletives that would have even Killian blushing._

  
_The rest was history. Needless to say, it did teach Emma that Regina was a woman of many wiles – a woman she so dearly loved with all the shattered pieces left in the wake of Robin. The oven pinged, startling the two yet they remained in the same position._

Turning around, Emma gives Regina a weak smile.

  
“Dinner’s ready.”

* * *

  
Charming carved the turkey, serving everyone a healthy helping of it.

  
“This is great, grandma,” Henry says, looking at Snow with a boyish grin that said that he would more than just two helpings tonight.

  
“Yes, thank you, Snow, for having us tonight,” Robin pipes in and it takes much of Emma’s strength to not clench her jaw, glare at the light-haired man, and possibly use magic on him.

  
“Nonsense. Everyone here is family,” Snow jokingly chides. It makes Emma sick.

  
Once everyone had been served, the tradition of speaking personal thanks began. Roland started them off.

  
“I thanks for Hen’y and ‘gina. I thanks for my papa and my home. I thanks for this and I ext’mely thanks for ‘ma,” he says adorably, gesturing around him but pointedly looking at Emma with a dimpled grin.

  
He gets his hair ruffled by David and he turns towards his Dad, who sat to his right. Robin clears his throat and takes Regina’s hand in his own, clasping it on top of the table. Whatever knots Regina unknotted were tightly coiling in the pits of her stomach.

  
He gazes at each person with a fond smile as he speaks, counter-clockwise.

  
“I am thankful for Roland, who has been a source of sunshine all his life.” The boy grins even wider, making Emma’s heart ache.

  
“I am thankful to you, David and Snow, for welcoming me and Roland into your family.” The two mimic Robin’s earlier gesture and smiled. The smiles were going to drive Emma to drink.

  
“I am thankful for Henry’s acceptance of my role in his mom’s life.”

  
Henry nods, knowing how painful this was for his ma.

  
“I am thankful to you, Emma, for keeping by Regina’s side and protecting her.”

  
A curt nod, a forced smile, and a much needed gulp of the cold beer beside her. The disapproving glances of her parents go ignored.

  
Finally, Robin turns to look into Regina’s eyes and takes a deep breath.

  
“I am especially thankful for Regina, my second chance, my lo –

  
Everyone abruptly looks up at the sound of a screeching chair to find Emma standing with a storm in her eyes and her pearly whites bared in a snarl. She appeared to be on the verge of opening her mouth and unleashing whatever poison she saw fit to strike the man dead but simply shakes her head, smiling sadly at the brunette whose eyes held the peace that would bring Emma to balance.

  
“So not worth it,” she mumbles before clumsily making her way to the door amidst parental reprimands and children’s protests.

  
Emma throws open the door and slams the door shut behind her, breathing deeply as she left the building. It was not long before the sound of heels clicking reached her ears. The hands that dispelled the tension from her shoulders earlier now roughly grabbed them and spun her around.

  
“What the _fuck_ was that?” a fuming Mayor demanded.

  
The returning shrug quelled nothing.

  
“We were doing so well, Emma. I thought that after last Christmas –

  
“That what, Regina? That we were okay? That I was okay with this?” Emma says so bitterly, it freezes the brunette.

  
“You are a fool, Regina, and you are too blind to see it,” she murmurs, sorrow lacing her broken tone.

  
“Excuse me?”

  
“Nothing.”

  
Emma turns to continue to walking but Regina’s grip is strong and digging into her, past the muscle and crushing the bone.

  
“Answer me!” the brunette all but roars, breaking the dead of night.

  
“Did you not hear him, Madame Mayor? You are his second chance! A second chance. You are second to his wife, second to Roland’s mother – you will always come second in everything to him. He thanked Henry for his role in your life. It’s a goddamn joke, Regina. Who the hell does he think he is, assuming that loving you is a role – that playing it is all there is to it? He did not even acknowledge Henry for who and what he is, Regina. He is my son. He is your son. He is _our_ son and you allow Robin to not value him at the worth he is – priceless!”

  
Emma’s chest is heaving by now and Regina is pale.

  
“I am thankful for your forgiving nature because everyone in this town – the town you built, led, and protected – knows just how much you have been hurt by people who did not deserve you. None of us would be where we are today without it, without you.”  
Second pass by, green and brown orbs mingling in pain and lost time.

  
“I am thankful for the joy you bring to people. You allowed them to see you as how I saw you – a tortured, lonesome person who craved love, light, and laughter just like everybody else. You showed them you are human, a strong brave one at that.”  
Tears have begun to run down both mothers’ faces now.

  
“I am thankful that it was you, Regina, who became a mother to Henry. Hell, I am thankful that you enacted the curse because without it… I would not have had Henry. I would not have you.”

  
There is a doubt in Regina’s chocolate eyes which Emma sees and she fondly shakes her head.

  
“I had a shitty childhood but I do not blame you. I never blamed you.”

  
There is a pregnant pause as Emma gives Regina time to absorb this.

  
“Do you want to know what I most especially thankful for?”

  
Regina mutely indicates the negative.

  
“I am thankful for _you_ , Regina.”

  
Regina’s grip has slackened and her hands move downward, grasping Emma’s warm hands.

  
“I am thankful for you because you nursed, loved, and nurtured Henry into the young man that he is now. God knows I could not have done it at the time. I am thankful for your resilient heart and its ability to love so fucking much, it rips me apart. You were taught that love was weakness but in it, you found strength. You drew from it to be the bigger, better person. It is why you are no Evil Queen because even if it is a part of you, and I know it will always be a part of you – you are still Regina. You are Regina, the woman who taught me to open myself to the possibility of getting hurt because it is actually all worth it. You taught me to love despite trying to run me out of town, trying to remove me from Henry’s life – just trying to destroy me, if it were the last thing you do.”

  
They both snottily chuckle at this, eyes puffed and red.

  
“Why could you not have tried to let me be more to you?” Emma despaired. Her fingers hurt from clutching Regina’s like a lifeline.

  
“Emma, I -

  
“You are _everything_ , Regina. You are my world, the fresh air that I desperately need. Loving you, Regina, is a privilege that I never want to lose. It is one that I have cherished for so long and kept so close, keeping me warm when the chill numbs me to the bone. You deserve more than to be someone’s second chance. You deserve more than for someone to just play a role in your life, as if it is their right to experiment with it until they achieve the desired result with little to no regard of hurting you.”

  
Then, came the bombshell that was not a bombshell at all.

  
“I love you, Regina. I love you and I deserve you as much as you deserve me but I cannot go back. I cannot stay here,” she choked out.

  
Regina nods in understanding, worrying her bottom lip to bleed as salty tears raced down her olive cheeks and stung it. Hands detached and Emma cupped the back of the shorter woman’s neck with both of hers. She softly places her cold, chapped lips to the brunette’s warm forehead and holds it there as everything stilled for them, once again. Arms encircle her waist in a tight embrace and the blonde shuts her eyes tight, forcing out whatever tears were left.

  
No sound was to be heard save for their steady, even breathing and rhythmic beating pulses. Emma pulls away, eliciting a weak protest from Regina. Taking the older woman’s arms away from her waist, she mourned the loss. She mourned the loss of time, the loss of opportunity – the loss of everything she could have had, had she been more courageous.

  
Emma presses her forehead to Regina’s and inhales deeply.

  
“I love you, Regina. Tell Henry to call whenever he wants to get picked up or whatever.”

  
With that, she lets go.

  
Once she has disappeared from sight, Regina collapses on the ground and brokenly sobs, “I love you too, Emma.”

  
That is how Snow found the former Evil Queen – sobbing with arms wrapped around herself, knees to chest and rocking – the name of the Savior falling from her lips in a spiral of anguish and regret.

**Author's Note:**

> Do leave a review, if you please. {:


End file.
